Although I could write a few additions to the opening lines:
I believe a revolution is coming to America. Or maybe two; it depends on how many revolutions I need to generate the boot velocity necessary to roundhouse all of America's problems at once. Just as Hurricane Ike slammed into my home state of Texas, and my boot slammed into that guy with the ponytail's face in season 3, episode 5 of Walker, Texas Ranger, I am more and more convinced as every year passes that a needed voter revolution is brewing and will arrive imminently at America's shores and ballot boxes and my opponents lower jaws.
The birth and face pains for this voter revolution can be seen through the highs and lows of current political polarities and wherever I intend my boot to make contact with your body.
I think that's enough of that. But, I hear the Chuck Norris Bailout Plan consists of three roundhouses: one for Fannie, one for Freddie, and one for Congress. Ok, I'm done.